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(1 man, 1 woman) THE ROYAL FAMILY
Act III
Julie: Oscar, Oscar!
Wolfe: Huh?
Julie: Wait a minute.
Wolfe: What's going on?
Julie: I've got to talk to you.
Wolfe: What's the matter?
Julie: It's about Fanny.
Wolfe: Yeh? What's up?
Julie: Oscar, she can't go on this tour.
Wolfe: Why not?
Julie: I don't know how you're going to do it, but some way or other you've got to keep
her from going. Without her knowing it.
Wolfe: What are you trying to tell me, Julie?
Julie: I went to see Randall yesterday.
Wolfe: Yes?
Julie: She's through, Oscar.
Wolfe: What!
Julie: She can't go on this tour. She can't do anything.
Wolfe: What do you mean?
Julie: She's got to have absolute quiet and rest. The least strain or exertion, and she's
likely to go -- like that.
Wolfe: ....Fanny?
Julie: She never can play again -- anywhere. She may never even leave this house.
Wolfe: Let me -- let me realize this. Fanny Cavendish - in there- it's all over? I don't
know why I'm so -- after all, she's been sick now a long time; she ain't young anymore --
but she never seemed sick -- always going on again - busy with plans -- sweeping us all
along -- it don't seem possible that --
Julie: What are we going to tell her, Oscar? How are we going to manage it?
Wolfe: I tell you how I fix it. First I tell her on account of booking troubles we can't
open just yet -- make it March, say, instead of January. Then when March comes along,
it's late in the season, the road ain't so good any more -- maybe we ought to wait till next
year. And I guarantee you, the way I do it, she won't suspect a thing.
Julie: Oscar, what a grand person you are.
Wolfe: I wish I could really do something. Thirty-five years we been together. They
don't make them like her anymore... I wish you could have seen her the first time I did,
Julie. Her face. Young, and gay, and beautiful -- but so much more than beautiful. And
how she treated me that first meeting. Me -- a beginner, a nobody. I went into there, I
tried not to show how I was shaking. I came out, I could have been Sir Charles
Wyndham.
Julie: Oscar, if I could only tell you what you've meant to all of us! But you wouldn't
listen.
Wolfe: And -- you, Julie?
Julie: What?
Wolfe: What about your plans, with this news? Still Egypt and India?
Julie: On, no. But - what am I going to do, Oscar? Gil's got his heart set on the ends of
the earth -- he hates New York; I don't dare go far away.
Wolfe: Well, say. You tell him how things stand, what the situation is. After all, he
can't be quite a -- I mean, in the face of something like this, surely now --
Julie: Oscar, why don't you like Gil? I wish you did.
Wolfe: Marshall? I like him all right. He ain't just my kind, but maybe I ain't his, either.
Julie: Oscar, do you think if I asked him he'd be willing to take a house here in town for
a while? Then I could look after her - be here if - anything happened.
Wolfe: How could he say no -- a time like this?
Julie: I'd feel so relieved.
Wolfe: Only what would you do with yourself all the time? New York -- you've seen
New York. Running a house -- what's that for you? What are you going to do?
Julie: Why, I don't know. It's all so sudden -- I hadn't thought about it yet.
Wolfe: Well, then, say! You're living in New York anyhow; you haven't go anything to
do; what's the difference if --
Julie: No, no! I'm through with it, Oscar. Through with it forever.
Wolfe: So. You - Gwen - Fanny - that ends it, huh? And for you there's no excuse.
Julie: I'm going to be married, Oscar. That's a pretty good excuse.
Wolfe: Tell me, what do you talk about when you're alone with this fellow? The theatre
he says he don't care about. Imagine!
Julie: There are other things in the world beside the theatre.
Wolfe: Sure! But not for you.
Julie: I want to relax, and play around, and have some fun.
Wolfe: Fun! Fun is work! It's work that's fun. You've had more fun in the last twenty
years than any woman in America. And let me tell you, Julie, the theatre is just
beginning in this country. It used to be London - Paris - Berlin. Now it's New York. I
tell you, a fine actress today -- there's nothing she can't do.
(Moving toward the library)
All right. Get married and be a bazaar patroness. Mark my words, you'll come back
again.